Dysmorphia

A few days ago I went to a free Zumba class in a dance studio. Have you ever been into a dance studio? The entire front wall is a giant mirror. Can you see where I'm going with this? A GIANT mirror.

Every move I made (or attempted to make) was reflected back to me. There I was, popping and locking (not really...) and trying to avoid eye contact with...myself. And still all I could see were arms and legs flailing. Now, I'm not the best dancer ever, but I'm far from being the worst. But I couldn't stand to watch myself--I looked so...disproportionate. That's the only word I can think of. My head and chest looked so small and compact compared to my enormous legs!

I write this in the hopes that you will read it and laugh at the ridiculousness of my thoughts, which you might find familiar in some way. We all look at ourselves and think some pretty strange thoughts:

"My nose is crooked when I smile."

"Look at that shoulder! It's higher than the other one!"

"One of my eyes is always half-closed."

These are all things I have said about myself when I look in the mirror or look back at photos. Chances are, no one else would notice these things. But we notice them about ourselves.

But how many of us would allow thoughts like these to keep us from going outside, drive us to get surgery, or sink us into a deep and lasting depression?

There are people who suffer from an over-abundance of these obsessions about bodily flaws and irregularities, real or imagined.

The disease is Body Dysmorphic Disorder and it's very real.

Check out this vid from You Tube.


It's very touching, but reading the comments on the site is incredibly sad and painful.

I guess I just want to create an awareness about this disorder, this struggle that we can all identify with and yet probably can't legitimize as an actual diagnosis. We need to speak with compassion towards each other. Words that are meant as playful teasing could be cutting right to the core of a serious illness or beginnings of an illness in someone predisposed to the disorder.

If you think you may be a person whose quality of life has been compromised by uncontrollable anxiety over your body, please seek help from a mental health professional. None of us should take lightly the negative thoughts about our bodies or our "selves" that often enter our minds without welcome. Yes, we can laugh at our silly thoughts in order to regain perspective, but it's no laughing matter when the thoughts won't go away and cause us to act in ways that are destructive.

Have compassion on others, and have compassion on yourself. That's all for now.