Modest Me

I love fall for so many reasons, not the least of which is this:


(from Fashionista Trends)

Fall outifts! No pressure to walk around in itsy bitsy teeny weeny non-clothes. 'Tis the season of sweaters, jeans, scarves...and minimal skin exposure.

When I was a kid, I was known for rocking the "old lady" style. Long skirts, long pants, long sleeves. Modesty to the point where family members took it upon themselves to remind me that I was a girl and could show it once in awhile.

A late, late, late bloomer, I finally started wearing tank-tops (gasp!) in college. And short shorts. Once I even walked around in a sports bra with nothing else on top. Scandalous, I know.

For the last few summers, I have actually felt pretty good about my body and my ability to wear clothes that show a lot more skin than I ever thought I'd be comfortable showing. I mean, nothing trashy. But still, my dresses were shorter than ever before, and my shoulders saw a lot more sun than usual. This summer, however, I felt overexposed. Maybe it's because I work with a lot of Muslim women, and my daughter goes to a school where so many different cultures are represented (in large part through fashion choices). Or it could be that my daughter is getting older, and I want her to be protected. Maybe it came with dressing for a professional work environment. Maybe it's just because I'm getting older. Whatever the reason, I'm getting sick of seeing skin. It takes no creativity to bare your body. But to dress modestly in a way that is still lovely and feminine? That is more artful.

(I truly hope that the picture below is not offensive to any Muslims. I only want to illustrate a point about the contrast between differing standards of clothing for women.)

Look at this picture:



Maybe it's just me, but I find the modest clothing so strikingly beautiful. An outfit like that shifts the focus from the body to the overall design.

Please understand, this is not meant to be a religious commentary. I am totally unqualified to write about Islamic codes of ethics or laws. I'm also not trying to bring judgement down on women who like to show some skin. I actually do think it's important for women of all shapes, sizes and colors to challenge the idea of which body types are "allowed" to be shown off publicly. I'm just trying to redefine what I personally see as beautiful. My own definition of what a beautiful woman "should" look like dictates my buying decisions and my level of confidence as I live in the world. I don't want to be boxed into thinking that I can only be identified as a beautiful woman if I wear clothes that reveal my feminine body.

It has been important for my growth to be able to wear clothes that make me feel lovely--and to recognize that I really do deserve to be lovely. Now I'm simply owning the fact that I really do appreciate my body enough to guard it. I realize that I actually don't want men in general to see too much of my unclothed skin.

And I really think society is coming back around to more modesty. Say what you will--a quick web search will show you that modest fashion is making a huge comeback. Not that it ever went away, but it's getting more glory now.

I'm so looking forward to putting beautiful outfits together for the fall and winter--outfits that are aesthetically pleasing, colorful, creative, and reflective of my personality and values. I'll try to post pictures of what I come up with. Until then, check these looks out!



You can't go wrong if you model your look after Princess Kate.


Why not bring the jumpsuit back?

(Check out this great modest fashion blog, Clothed Much, here.)


Sweater dress. Oh yes.

(Shop for modest fashion at Mikarose!)

Bare or covered, be beautiful you. Be true to your values.

A Day Like Yesterday

Yesterday was my favorite day of the year so far. And this is why:



It was finally spring. I planted my little flowers in my box just in time for my perfect weather day. I'm a little obsessed with weather. Not like the "checking the weather report every five minutes and reading books about how tornadoes form" kind of obsessed. My obsession really is not about the weather but about my mood. I'm obsessed with my mood.

I feel the most comfortable on a day like yesterday. It was 61 degrees but it felt like 70. The sky was a bright gray and smelled like rain and fresh mulch all day. Not cold and rainy, not sweltering hot...just perfect. The kind of day when I can sit on my deck and read a book without feeling guilty that I'm not out riding a bike or playing at the beach. The kind of day where I can walk around my neighborhood without my toes freezing or my umbrella turning inside out.

The kind of day that matches my nearly perpetual mood. Not threatening, not exuberant, not oppressive. A little on the melancholy side but with a lightness that delights in remembering and looks ahead with realism.

And there are certain activities that I only like to do on these days where I truly feel like myself. Reading, eating and watching movies immediately come to mind, although yesterday was far more productive than I imagined it would be. But there are other things, like shopping for a used novel or playing through a new piano book, that can only be truly and fully enjoyed on a day like yesterday. Oh I can do these and a number of other activities on any given day, but there is something deeply satisfying to me about a slightly melancholic day, when I am both propelled out to small accomplishments and lulled to my room for soul-rest.

Hot, sunny days make me a bit anxious. I feel this pressure to get out and enjoy the weather, when really I'm not an outdoorsy person. I get headaches from the heat, I hate getting sunburns, I'm afraid of deep water, I don't have a bike, and I am terrified of competitive sports.

Cold, dark winter days are cozy, but tromping through snow and getting kids in and out of sopping clothes lost its charm for me years ago. Not to mention the fact that it gets dark at 4:30. Darkness on that level oppresses the mind.

So a drizzly spring day really is the best. I hope for a long spring full of these days.

What's your favorite weather? When do you feel truly at peace with your environment?

30 Days of Redefining Beauty-Day 12

Everything as it should be.

How does that phrase make you feel? Personally, I feel at peace. Some of you might feel bored, but this is for the people who read that and breathe a deep sigh of relief.

Today I woke up to more snow than I have seen so far this winter--and that's not saying much. This and last winter have been incredibly mild for the Chicagoland area. I haven't complained. It was wonderful to take my kids to a park after school in January because it was 60 degrees! It felt so healthy and life-giving. No, I didn't complain and I won't if it happens again.

BUT...this weekend my husband and I took our kids sledding, and today I tromped through several inches of snow and slush to and from (and to and from, over and over again) schools and work.

I hated it (well the sledding was fun, but the slogging and scraping is not). But because I am growing used to the idea of seeing beauty in unexpected places, that phrase popped into my head: "Everything as it should be."

It should be cold and nasty in Chicago in the winter, for heaven's sake! I don't like it, but there is something beautiful and right about kids bundling up to go sledding in February rather than picnicking in the park.

I say this because I grew up in Colorado. For readers who grew up in places like California and Saudi Arabia, "winter" means something totally different.

So take the general idea and apply it whatever you want. Where in your life can you see the beauty of "the natural order of things"? Where have things been off lately? Do you embrace sameness or change--or both equally?!