Hot and gross. Too hot to think of a catchy title.

It's hot in the Philippines. All the time. And humid. All the time. This picture is pretty much my look now. All the time. Lovely isn't it?!

All the things I feared would happen here, do: my eyebrows melt off halfway through the day, my eyeliner smears and streaks, my clothes stink, my head sweats...not a pretty picture.

I got used to being pretty for awhile. I felt like I was getting the hang of making up my face to look like I had natural brows and lashes. I fit into my clothes well. Here, I've lost so much weight from the lack of gluten-free diet options that my clothes hang on me. I know, you're thinking "What's wrong with that?! I wish I had that problem?"...but it means I'm hungry a lot, and when you're bald you don't also want to look super thin. Besides--I've still got my baby tummy. :)

Anyway, the funny thing here is that I have totally stopped caring. When guys come over to do repairs on the house we're renting, I don't go check my makeup. When I go shopping, I don't put perfume on earrings on. Because, by the way, scents mixed with sweat and bug spray are just not okay, and for whatever reason I can't wear any of my earrings now without my ears getting infected.

So I'm finding myself without all of the beauty aids I was relying on. I feel ugly, frail, smelly, greasy (yes, I've had to go back to using Clearasil again here because my face sweats so much), washed out and just totally unfeminine. But I really don't care.

Life is so much harder here than in the US that suddenly appearances don't really mean much to me. Survival means more. I have this feeling that I'm here temporarily and have to "rough it" for awhile until I come home. Who knows how long "temporarily" will be, but the attitude is working for me so far. Luckily I have no occasions where I need to step it up and look nice in any way. At least, I haven't yet. For now, "hot and gross" is the new me!
Maybe this is the freedom I've needed.