30 Days of Redefining Beauty: Day 1

Two recent thoughts have inspired this new project. One occurred yesterday as I was thinking about my status report on Facebook. I was going to report that I had a nice day, but I stopped myself because, to be perfectly honest, I can get more attention if I write about my troubles. I thought, how sad that I prefer to define myself as a victim, dragging others into my darkness just so I will be pursued. Where did I get the idea that beauty was not as interesting as pain?

The second was gifted to me during a session of spiritual direction that I attended today. This particular spiritual director, who is also a trusted friend, helped me see that the ways I have traditionally tried to care for myself and "rest" often have the opposite effect, leaving me drained and far from refreshed. Instead of seeking "rest", I might be better off asking "What will lead me closer to wholeness?" After all, there are activities that may sound exhausting beforehand but may actually fulfill and revive my soul once I dive in.

After contemplating my life recently and unpacking these two thought experiences that occurred within a day of each other, I have come to the conclusion that I need a new way of looking at my life and living in it. I'm tired of seeking beauty in places that look promising but turn out to be traps. And I'm tired of wallowing in the negative all for the sake of attention and affirmation.

So, to the project: For the next thirty days, I will write one post per day in which I describe something beautiful about my day. My hope is that I will set myself on the road to optimism by forcing myself to find beauty in unexpected places--and to take it in as a gift more valuable than mere drama.

I hope you will join me. Please feel free to add your beautiful moments in the Comments box each day.

TODAY: I volunteered in my daughter's first grade classroom for an hour this morning. I have not been looking forward to this, because it totally broke up my day and I was afraid I would feel like I hadn't gotten an adequate break from being a mom during the day, leading to a tense afternoon and evening.

The beautiful part is that I really enjoyed getting to know the kids in my daughter's class and watching her interact there. I saw her relative to other kids and realized that many of my fears about her socialization process have been founded on assumptions. I began to understand her teacher a little better--a woman I had previously judged to be much less personable than she actually is.

The lesson from today, I guess, is that I need to reserve judgement until I have seen "with mine own eyes". A simple truth that was illustrated beautifully for me today in a room with 28 six- and seven-year-olds.