Last night I had a special birthday party to go to, and I almost ditched it for my bed and lots of candy. My preparations for the party looked like this: put on a scarf, rip it off and throw it on the floor; put on a wig, rip it off and throw it on the floor; put on a hat, rip it off and throw it on the floor; etc, etc, etc.
Nothing was working. I couldn't wear a big scarf around my neck and a big scarf on my head. I couldn't wear a wig because they all poked, scratched, and look unnatural. I couldn't go bald because we are still living in the Arctic.
Nothing. Was. Working.
I finally decided on this cap:
Not my best look, but I was late and I stopped caring. I threw a winter hat over it and left in a huff. When I got to the party, a man took my coat...and hat. It was that awkward moment when I had to reach up under my winter hat, put my hand on my head cap to steady it, stretch the winter hat up and over so the cap wouldn't come off and expose my scalp, and then adjust the cap anyway.
But...today I celebrate the fact that I went to the party and ended up having a good time. I am content with the fact that I can overcome any first impressions by the way I hold people's gaze and let my personality shine through. And now, looking at this picture that I sent my sister when I was doubting whether I could actually go out in a cap like that, I think it looks retro chic, like I was at a party at Jay Gatsby's house.
Where can you find contentment today? What moment will you celebrate?
I've met a family that have a small house, much like ours right now. The parents in one room, and all three children in the only other bedroom which is smaller. They put up a bunk bed for the two boys and a twin for the girl. They've made it work and can't imagine doing anything else. All homes are different for sure. It's what we fill them with that really matters.
ReplyDeleteI remember many days (still have them at times) where nothing I wore, nothing I put in my hair, no kind of makeup would make me feel how I thought I wanted to feel - which really is just saying "How I want others to see me as." Now I'm more relaxed and step out in whatever I'm in. I've learned most of the others really are more concerned with themselves to look my way. When someone does look, it's usually the eyes that meet first and with that you just need smile and all is right. My contentment today is that I've learned this lesson: Lead with your eyes! --MOM
I'm proud of you for going out even if you were feeling less than beautiful. (Which is ludacris, you are GORGEOUS!) I've not been so brave lately. Putting on winter weight yet again... has put me back into a state of funk that I had hoped last summer I was out of finally. BUT... I must learn to accept my body the way it is at any time. I still didn't love myself when I was 40 lbs lighter and had glowing skin and a full social life. I still held myself back from experiencing a lot of life because I felt I wasn't pretty enough or "hot" enough to do certain things. I need to learn to step out and greet the world no matter how I look. Then maybe, once I truly love myself, I'll see myself as beautiful at any size. One can hope.
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