Seeing Ourselves

I am almost finished with a book called Long Time, No See, by Beth Finke. Beth is a woman who went blind from diabetes in her late twenties. Among many other fascinating details about her life, I was particularly interested to note that she took a job modeling nude for art students when she was in her forties (read about it here).

I'm sure a lot of you are thinking, as I did, that being blind would be a huge advantage for a nude model. You wouldn't have to face your audience, for one thing, and for another you wouldn't stare at yourself in a mirror agonizing over the rolls, wrinkles, ribs, etc. that you wished you could wish away. Blindness would be a liberation from caring what others thought! Right?

According to Beth Finke, being blind may actually increase your awareness of what you look like to others. In her book, she describes a heightened awareness of the clothing that was fashionable at any given time, not wanting to be pitied for being unable to see to dress herself. She also confesses to a great deal of insecurity about the nude modeling, although she was also curious to see if being blind would free her of the inhibitions most of us live under.

If I couldn't see, and therefore couldn't see myself, how would that affect my self-image? I can't even begin to imagine it, really, but I have a feeling I would simply transfer my anxieties about my looks to other aspects of my physical person, like how I walked or what my voice sounded like. I think I would be very insecure about what my unseeing eyes were doing and how they looked to people.

Another interesting aspect of Beth's life is that her husband confessed to being dissatisfied with a spouse who could not tell him he looked good. Now that's something I would not have considered. If someone you loved went blind and they could no longer give you affirmation about your looks, how would that feel? We like to think lasting partnerships are about so much more than the initial physical attraction, but that aspect never loses importance.

This post is really my way of getting the word out about this book, which is delightful to read, but I suppose there should be a lesson for us on redefining beauty. Obviously, there is a lesson here about not taking what we have for granted. If you think someone looks nice, tell them so (appropriately and respectfully, of course). I also think there's a lesson about trying things we never thought we could do, especially when it comes to gaining new respect for our beautiful bodies and their capabilities. Take a dance class, model for art students, take a risk with your wardrobe. Do something that pushes you to be in touch with your body in a way that will lead you to a newfound sense of self-respect. Don't do anything that you will regret, but don't let what you see in the mirror define you or limit you. After all, we say that mirrors don't lie, but the image they reflect is one we interpret with filtered lenses.