The 10-Day Redefining Challenge--Day 8

We all have features we would rather keep hidden. Freckles we cover up, noses we fix, bellies we suck in. Most of us have one or two body features in particular that we just hate.

I hate my little toes. My pinky toes. The nails don't grow normally. They grow in a pile, on top of themselves. Gross, I know. I have always been very sensitive about my toenails, even waiting until age 28 to get my first pedicure! I have finally gotten to the point where I can wear flip flops without embarrassment, because I have realized that no one looks at or cares about my little toes.

I need to fall in love with my toes. If I can grow to love one of my "worst" features, it should hopefully be that much easier to love the rest of what I see in the mirror.

The challenge for today is to write a love poem to your worst feature. It can be an ode to your crooked nose, a sonnet to the mole on your cheek, a haiku in honor of the knobby knees you try to cover no matter how hot it is outside...whatever.

Here's mine:

My toes,
my toes,
the nails grow
like a rose
in folds
over folds.

My toes,
my toes,
cramped and hidden
in shoes unbidden
you get stuffed into
fittin'.

Come out, little toes,
you're cute like my nose.
Point and wiggle,
and I will giggle
at my toeses,
my roses,
my "I-help-you-goeses".

You're vital,
never idle,
shoes wide'll
be your home.

My toes,
my toes,
no need to change
or nails to rearrange,
for the range
of strangeness
is beauty
to me.

The 10-Day Redefining Challenge--Day 7

I think I take myself too seriously. Seriously.

I try to be very put together and composed in social settings. I am self-conscious about my smile and laugh, so I minimize all expression when I'm with anyone other than my mom and sister. I also check and double check to make sure my appearance is impeccable; because heaven forbid I let anyone see me with a bit of food in my teeth or a drip at the end of my nose (the wonderful by-product of a sinus procedure I had done a few years ago).

But I miss the freedom of being myself, without all the rehearsal and performance. I really do feel like I am putting on an act much of the time. I try to keep myself looking classy, when I'm really kind of a mess. I stumble, I cough at odd times, I fall off piano benches at church, I pass gas every now and then, my voice cracks when I sing--in other words, I'm like all of you! And I'd like to do more than just know that in my head. I'd like to laugh at myself in a way that brings joy rather than self-deprecation. I'd like to be silly without being self-conscious.

Now, I understand there are times when being silly will get you nowhere--or may even get you fired. But most of the time, I think we could all do with a little less performance and a little more natural expression.

My challenge today is to get over ourselves. Being goofy, messy, clumsy, annoying, ditsy, or one of countless other less-than-perfect qualities is actually beautiful. These qualities speak to our common humanity and vitality. The occasional gaffe does not define us, nor does it change how people see us--at least not in the long term.

The best way I can think of to pull off this challenge is to make silly faces at myself in the mirror before I walk out the door. So I challenge you to do the same! Smile, laugh, frown, stretch, open, scrunch, skew--and see the beauty inherent in expression of all kinds. Set yourself free from the need to be perfectly composed. The less seriously you take yourself, the more you will begin to redefine your beauty in terms of your inner beauty rather than your outer "perfection".

30 Days of Redefining Beauty-Day 17

Tonight I rediscovered the beauty of laughter. I haven't really laughed in awhile. Not because my life is so sad, but because I simply got out of the habit. Less nights out with girlfriends, more nights in washing dishes, you know how it goes.

Well, tonight I enjoyed hearing my own laugh. And that in itself is a beautiful thing, because for years I have despised the way my laugh looks and sounds. Self-conscious through and through, I have always been afraid of people finding my horsey-mouth laugh unattractive. Horsey-mouth=big open mouth, lots of gums showing:




Okay, it's not that bad, really. But that's pretty much how I look in my head.

And you know what? That image has kept me from experiencing what I think might be called, in Biblical terms, "fullness of joy".

Well, tonight I laughed (admittedly, with one and only drink in me) and I loved the sound of it. And I didn't care what I looked like--mostly because I was in a dark corner of a restaurant.

Hey, it's a start.

Do you love your laugh?

(Photo seen at http://lauriegan.blogspot.com/2010/09/dont-look-gift-horse-in-mouth.html)

30 Days of Redefining Beauty-Day 9

Two moments of beauty today. And believe me, I need to dwell on them tonight.

Number 1: I took my daughter to the pet store and we watched all kinds of critters frolicking around (oh the things you can come up with on a freezing day in the city). I found myself really drawn to the textures on the animals' coats. There was this amazing dalmatian I couldn't stop looking at--aren't the patterns and contrasts on some animals just amazing?!

I also thoroughly enjoyed watching animals being groomed, losing what seemed to be pounds of matted, dirty hair and emerging so clean and light. Watching hair get shorn off relaxes me, what can I say.

Number 2: My daughter later had an old friend over for a play date. At six years old, an "old friend" means someone she hadn't seen since the end of kindergarten, last May. It was so beautiful watching her get all excited, then become almost painfully shy upon actually seeing her friend face to face, then lose all inhibitions and romp around with this girl like they were separated at birth. They really are two of a kind. It did my heart good to see my daughter interacting with another child in a way that clearly made her happy. And the changing moods and worlds of a young child are so fascinating to watch unfold.

So, puppies and kids being who they are. These things delighted me today. What delighted you today?

Transformations

I have been obsessed with aging. I see every new wrinkle as it comes in. I sit and think about what my bald head will look like when I'm 70 years old. And, lately, I have been trying out these photo-aging programs online.

Here's a fun one: The St. Andrews Face Transformer.
Totally hilarious. Not only can I see myself as I might appear years from now, I can also see myself as a West Asian, a half-chimp, or even a man!

Here is the photo I used as the control:

Here's me as an "older adult":

Afro-Caribbean me:

Get ready to be freaked out--here I am as a man in drag:

It's a fine line, right?! (Some of you will never be able to look at me the same way again...)


Okay, so getting really brave I tried it with this photo:

Sadly, the transformer didn't know what to do with my bald head. But I'm still pretty happy with the results...

Older me:

East Asian me:

Monkey me:

Try the site out--it's a hoot! And it will make you appreciate your own fine features that much more when you're done. :)