Your eyes do not deceive you. Due to the migraine and general malaise that knocked me out at 8:30 last night, I was unable to post anything for you. I know you have been waiting with bated breath to see what I will say. And yes, it's "bated", not "baited". I checked.
So today you get a two-fer.
Yesterday:
"for nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose..." --from Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.
I read this yesterday and it confirmed what I had been feeling for awhile...purpose really is beautiful. We need to have goals, big and small. I hate to say it, but my old habits (which I still fall back on all too often) of escaping into naps, movies and Internet time-wasting when I'm stressed, tired, restless, or depressed (pretty much all the time) just don't fulfill me like I always think they will. When I am working or have a plan for my day, I just feel better. I may be a bit harried or tense sometimes, but overall I think that's better than the lifelessness I descend into when I don't have purpose...and the resulting guilt and shame. That's why Rick Warren's book was so popular.
Don't get me wrong--I don't want to be a workaholic. I probably need more breaks and "down time" than the average person. But my down time needs to have a purpose in order for it to truly bring me rest and lead me to wholeness. If I plan to watch a movie because I know I need it, fine. I can watch it and enjoy it and not think about it later. If, however, I have no specific plan for my day and I just end up watching a movie, I end up feeling sad, stressed out about all the things I didn't get done during that time, and guilt that I wasted two hours of my life.
Moderation in everything. I'm a big believer. I just have to get out of my bad habits and bring more purpose to my days.
Today:
Rhythm is beautiful. I had another lesson on the djembe today, which I never thought I would be able to play. It turns out that I just have to learn my little rhythm part and play it, no matter what everyone else is playing. Speaking of purpose, it's so much easier for me to play a set rhythm than to try and improvise. That's why I love this drum class--I get a certain part and I play it. And I'm part of the circle, adding to the song.
I learned a samba rhythm today!! I have myself chills, really. It's so beautiful to feel a steady beat and move to it, improvise on it, and just know that it's...right. That even if you get lost, you wait for that 1-count and you can find your way back.
Thank God for rhythm.
Showing posts with label purpose. Show all posts
Showing posts with label purpose. Show all posts
Friday, February 8, 2013
Thursday, January 31, 2013
30 Days of Redefining Beauty-Day 8
I can't believe it's only Day 8 of this silly experiment. After a week of trying to find beauty in unexpected places I am already feeling tapped out, like anything I might say from here on in will be redundant. I suddenly feel that these posts have been irrelevant and time-consuming, nothing more. I could write about the changing sky today, or the storefront windows full of color I saw earlier. But those sentiments seem trite.
Instead I will write about how difficult it is to keep this blog going. I don't even know who reads this. Does it matter?
And yet...I keep typing. Today the beauty I see is in my commitments. I physically recoil at the thought of being obligated to do anything, but I also can't say "no". So I keep blogging, or I stay somewhere when there are a dozen other places I would rather be, and grumble. But I stay. (Most of the time.)
I think that's beautiful. Isn't there a parable in the Bible about how it's better to initially say you won't do something and then do it later, rather than say you will do it and end up dropping the ball?
Well, I have dropped the ball, MANY times. I'm beginning to learn, though, that following through with your commitments is a sign of maturity and integrity, two qualities I have longed to possess all my life. Sticking with something you said you would do is kind of a lost art these days. It's so easy to get out of relationships, delegate, outsource, and claim "self-care" as a method of avoidance. And those things are not always bad. But I do think that follow-through is one of those character-building values that doesn't have an immediate payoff--and thus goes against the grain of so much in our culture.
I will stick with it, most likely grumbling all the way, as long "it" is leading me toward wholeness and not annihilation.
Instead I will write about how difficult it is to keep this blog going. I don't even know who reads this. Does it matter?
And yet...I keep typing. Today the beauty I see is in my commitments. I physically recoil at the thought of being obligated to do anything, but I also can't say "no". So I keep blogging, or I stay somewhere when there are a dozen other places I would rather be, and grumble. But I stay. (Most of the time.)
I think that's beautiful. Isn't there a parable in the Bible about how it's better to initially say you won't do something and then do it later, rather than say you will do it and end up dropping the ball?
Well, I have dropped the ball, MANY times. I'm beginning to learn, though, that following through with your commitments is a sign of maturity and integrity, two qualities I have longed to possess all my life. Sticking with something you said you would do is kind of a lost art these days. It's so easy to get out of relationships, delegate, outsource, and claim "self-care" as a method of avoidance. And those things are not always bad. But I do think that follow-through is one of those character-building values that doesn't have an immediate payoff--and thus goes against the grain of so much in our culture.
I will stick with it, most likely grumbling all the way, as long "it" is leading me toward wholeness and not annihilation.
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