When you think of a beautiful woman on a beach, what do you see in your mind? This:
?Or maybe this:
?Almost certainly, you would not see anyone looking like this:
Long hair is critical to the image of a beautiful woman on the beach, isn't it?!
We tend to think in "types", or at least I do. The stages in my mind are set, and only characters who fit the description will be given parts. When I imagine what characters in my novels look like, my images are greatly influenced by the descriptions of the settings those characters are in. I might picture a cute blond with short, spiky hair if the scene I meet her in is a nightclub. If a woman is on horseback in the scene, then she has to have long hair billowing out behind her.
I guess these images must come from movies or book illustrations I was inundated with growing up. No matter--they're there, and they have so twisted my self image now, as a bald woman, that I have actually kept myself from doing things I know I would love because my "image" doesn't fit the scene in my mind. I will probably never allow my husband to dance with me if I am not wearing a wig or a long scarf I really feel feminine in. In my mind, a dancing couple is made up of a woman with hair falling down her back and a slightly taller man with his hand at the small of her back and his face half-buried in her hair, taking in her scent and her softness.
Well, I'm tired of defining myself by my so-called deficiency. I'm tired of saying "You can't walk on a beach/ride a horse/dance unless you have hair (i.e. "look like a woman").
The beauty I write about tonight is the beauty of re-imagining myself as a character in the scenes I have set in my mind. Here are a few shots of women in "scenes" I would never have imagined this way:
I hope I can see myself enjoying any opportunity life brings my way without worrying whether I'm what the director is looking for. I am the director of my own life, after all.
I agree that most of our scenes come from movies & books... so there needs to be a change in both of those to help everyone see scenes more realistic! Hollywood has done this, made those images unrealistic - and it's hurt many (being too heavy or too thin, too white & not tan, grey headed or no hair....) and the list goes on. Good thoughts - we are our own Director! I like it!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou're definitely not alone in this thought! I know (and am one of them) many women who hold themselves back from doing things. Weight, skin type, height, even personal style keeps people from doing things every day. For men, they call it their "reputation." But really, they just don't want to be judged for looking a certain way but acting in an unexpected manner.
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