I learned this concept in Mindfulness therapy. We did this exercise where we had to close our eyes and think of an event or situation that filled us with a lot of tension and stress. We had to think of something we were saying "No" to. No, I don't want to come home for Christmas. No, I don't want to go to work on Monday morning and face my obnoxious boss. No, I don't want to have the same fight about finances again.
Then our leader had us practice saying "Yes". And with that simple word, it was amazing what happened physically. Just saying the word "yes" relaxed my shoulders and released the breath I didn't realize I had been holding.
This therapy session was a couple years ago, but the idea of "radical acceptance" has stayed with me. It's the idea so eloquently expressed on bumper stickers: "S*** happens". Life is not going to be easy. The more I can accept the situations and circumstances I find myself in, without trying to fight my way out of them, the more peaceful and healthy I will feel.
This is not to say that I should lie down and take everything life throws at me. I have choices to make. But if I spend my energy saying "This shouldn't be happening to me" then I will have no energy left to make wise decisions.
Sara Groves has a song called "Starfish" which expresses the same idea: "Peaceful creature, come and be my teacher. / Flotsam, jetsam, swish and swirl, and you don't even care."
I don't think it conflicts with my Christian worldview to practice radical acceptance. I choose to (try to) follow the teachings of Jesus, and he says not to be anxious about circumstances (Matthew 6:25-34). The reason I can practice radical acceptance and say "yes" to my circumstances is because a)I know suffering is part of the human condition for now, b)I am usually not in control of my circumstances, only how I respond to them, and c)I profess to believe in a God who cares about my life and is ultimately taking care of me. That's pretty hopeful in the long term. Radical acceptance puts short-term problems into long-term perspective.
The word "yes" is beautiful, but not always easy to say. I'm thinking of it today because I am having a hard time with this alopecia today, and I am facing unwanted truths about a difficulty my daughter is going through.
Can you think of anything you have been inwardly saying "no" to? Would a radical "yes" set you free?
I find that music helps.... find those tunes that bring you to happy place, a soothing place. I have to watch out for those tunes that may take me back to other moments of meloncholy or sadness. Play the tunes, say yes to your surroundings, hug one another hard.... and then call your Mama.... LOL - I love you and now that we all eventually look Back and see the true Beauty that maybe escapes us at the moment. Esther will have struggles that you will be helping her thru. Give her the Word!
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