Thank Heaven For Little Girls

"Sugar and spice, and everything nice..."

Is that what we want our little girls to be? I picked my daughter up from a playdate this afternoon at a local cafe. When I got there, she and her friend were pretending to be bunnies. It was super cute. The problem was, the bunnies were getting a little too excited...and loud. The other mom and I kept trying to say things like "Volume down, please" and "Bunnies underground", but to no avail. The excitement level kept rising. There were a few other people in the cafe, on laptops mostly. One woman in particular kept glancing at the girls. Once, when I said "volume down", she said (to no one in particular), "Yes, shut up girls, please".

Mama lion came a'roaring. I didn't think I had a mama lion in me, but suddenly there she was. I had enough self control not to make a scene, but I did directly address this lady regarding my daughter.

Now, I am a quiet person for the most part. I love having quiet places to read and think and sip coffee. I like my evenings at home to be spent listening to soft music, curled up on the couch with a book. I am hyper aware of how loud I am when there are other people around me (like my downstairs neighbors). But to have a stranger tell my daughter to shut up was the last straw in a large haystack of restrictive measures forced on my kids by other people. My daughter has some special issues going on, and lately I feel like all I hear is "Her issues are not tolerated here." And "here" is pretty much anywhere.

Be quiet at school and sit at your desk. Be quiet at home so the neighbors can relax. Be quiet in the restaurant so others can eat in peace. Be quiet in church (though I must say, our church is amazing when it comes to letting kids be kids in our worship space). Be quiet on the train. Sit nicely in the waiting room. Don't make a scene in the grocery store. Don't bounce the ball while the coach is talking. Be especially quiet on airplanes.

It just goes on and on. And I get it. I do. We can't let kids run around screaming all the time. What kind of world would that be?! I guess I'm just wondering where the more energetic, vocal and excitable kids get to be the ones dictating proper behavior. Now that I am dealing with more of these issues regularly with my daughter, I find that we are being pushed out of public spaces that exist to help people relax. Well, where are the spaces, especially in the middle of winter, where hyper kids can also enjoy themselves?

And how, as a mom, have I contributed to my daughter's socialization as a girl who must always strive for stillness and quiet, so that other people are not bothered? It shames me to think of.

We need to let our kids know how beautiful they are, even if they are not embraced in public life.