Your eyes do not deceive you. Due to the migraine and general malaise that knocked me out at 8:30 last night, I was unable to post anything for you. I know you have been waiting with bated breath to see what I will say. And yes, it's "bated", not "baited". I checked.
So today you get a two-fer.
Yesterday:
"for nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose..." --from Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.
I read this yesterday and it confirmed what I had been feeling for awhile...purpose really is beautiful. We need to have goals, big and small. I hate to say it, but my old habits (which I still fall back on all too often) of escaping into naps, movies and Internet time-wasting when I'm stressed, tired, restless, or depressed (pretty much all the time) just don't fulfill me like I always think they will. When I am working or have a plan for my day, I just feel better. I may be a bit harried or tense sometimes, but overall I think that's better than the lifelessness I descend into when I don't have purpose...and the resulting guilt and shame. That's why Rick Warren's book was so popular.
Don't get me wrong--I don't want to be a workaholic. I probably need more breaks and "down time" than the average person. But my down time needs to have a purpose in order for it to truly bring me rest and lead me to wholeness. If I plan to watch a movie because I know I need it, fine. I can watch it and enjoy it and not think about it later. If, however, I have no specific plan for my day and I just end up watching a movie, I end up feeling sad, stressed out about all the things I didn't get done during that time, and guilt that I wasted two hours of my life.
Moderation in everything. I'm a big believer. I just have to get out of my bad habits and bring more purpose to my days.
Today:
Rhythm is beautiful. I had another lesson on the djembe today, which I never thought I would be able to play. It turns out that I just have to learn my little rhythm part and play it, no matter what everyone else is playing. Speaking of purpose, it's so much easier for me to play a set rhythm than to try and improvise. That's why I love this drum class--I get a certain part and I play it. And I'm part of the circle, adding to the song.
I learned a samba rhythm today!! I have myself chills, really. It's so beautiful to feel a steady beat and move to it, improvise on it, and just know that it's...right. That even if you get lost, you wait for that 1-count and you can find your way back.
Thank God for rhythm.
Ahhhh, I loved playing those small instruments in the band - I know you'll get it down with a little practice so that you'll improvise with your own flair and style very soon.
ReplyDeletePurpose - comes in many forms & styles of it's own. Enjoy!
That's so cool that you are doing the drum class, too! You always lit up when playing or dancing to music. :) That's beautiful!!
ReplyDeleteI have been experiencing the exact same dilemma of down time being useless and wasted lately. So I started my own side business with Arbonne! I needed something to help me focus on myself. And now I have so many wonderful and inspiring women to help show me the way! Its pretty great so far...